The Write Way Out

Don't let the headline fool you, I am not advocating killing anyone, least of all former Trump mouthpiece Kellyanne Conway .  I am just continuing my homage to the force of nature that is her daughter, Claudia Conway . The headline is just a cheap play on the Quentin Tarantino Kill Bill series, which - if you read one of my earlier posts about Claudia - reminds me of the bloodthirsty way this teenager has been torching her famous parents, the White House and virtually everything else in her path. It's awesome! As long as she's not my daughter, I am 100% down with Team Claudia. She is truly the pop culture gift that won't stop giving. No matter how much you want her to - ask her mother! It's crazy to imagine that anyone could be more effective at demonizing Kellyanne Conway than SNL's Kate McKinnon . (Watch the "It" parody, "Kellywise," here. It's the best thing ever.) But when the call is coming FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, well, that's

If anyone is not convinced that, somewhere, a seal has been broken and we are full-on in the middle of the actual Apocalypse, here's proof. According to CNN , a baby zebra (they say ZEH-bra, by the way) in the UK that was born in the early days of the COVID-19 outbreak, has died after being frightened by local fireworks set off by neighbors to commemorate a national holiday. The baby, unfortunately named Hope, was spooked by the fireworks and ran, panicked, into the wall of her zoo enclosure, dying "immediate(ly)" from injuries sustained.  If there's ever been a better metaphor for this particular moment in time, I can't think of one. Election didn't go your way? Awww. Favorite watering hole can't stay open past 10 PM? Damn. Zoom Thanksgiving?! Terrible! But next to whatever you're grousing about right now, hold this up: An adorable baby zebra NAMED HOPE committed accidental suicide running into the wall of her cage because the fireworks people were sh

"There's all kinds of people dying who never died before." Some people remember Donald Trump saying this early in the COVID pandemic. Some attributed it to Joe Biden . Personally, I have a clear memory of my Nana saying it - maybe ironically, maybe not - when I was little. As I got older, I remember thinking she may have been quoting Yogi Berra or maybe a Borscht Belt comic. The fact that none of these are true tells you a little something about how smart Ken Jennings is.  (The quote was said by none of those people, but rather written by Ernest Hemingway , that famous comedian, in a letter in 1930. He was being ironic.) Ken Jennings is arguably the smartest guy who's ever been in my living room. Which is to say, he is the GOAT (Greatest of All Time) of Jeopardy , coronated after a no-holds-barred tournament earlier this year between him,  James Holzhauer and Brad Rutter . I don't know if he's smarter than those guys, but he's absolutely more likable th

I think it may be safe to breathe now. While the election isn’t over, it’s getting closer and much of the conversation is beginning to turn from “who” to “how?” As in, “How are we going to move forward?” Much has been written of late about the consequences of a US Senate that disproportionately favors more rural, less populated states and penalizes those with large urban centers. It’s been identified as an issue because large metropolitan cities lean heavily to blue (Democrat) and more rural areas to red (Republican). One Twitter post I saw recently said simply, “Land doesn’t vote. People do.” Two nights after the election my daughter’s boyfriend was waxing philosophical on this problem and I entertained him by keeping my mouth shut. He’s a vocal and articulate liberal, appropriate to his age and energy level; but I like him anyway. He made a point I later read in a New York Times editorial, which was: Wyoming has half a million people and they have two senators. California has 3

 A word, if you will, in praise of the life of Sean Connery. Connery is as close to a movie star as there ever was, in any generation. He was the best James Bond, more charismatic than charming, even though he was among the few who didn't care for the franchise. He was an actor's actor, and didn't care for the pageantry of 007 movies. He told a New York Times reporter , early on, that they are, "like comic strips dependent on bigger and better gimmicks." He'd rather be playing golf. But the Bond movies brought him fame and lots of money, enough money that he could be selective about his projects. And that part, he liked.  A tribute to Sean Connery, then, in Three Acts: Act I I began dating my wife in 1983. She was hot, I'm not going to lie. I was playing way over my head. If I never win the lottery it will be because I blew all my good luck on that one gambit back in the day. Also, I mostly don't play the lottery. The 1980s were the era of MTV, back wh

Friends, this is it. The Rubicon.  When next we speak everything will be different, no matter the outcome of the election. Face it, we may not even know who won by this time next week. Or multiple parties could be touting different results. But it will be over and we will be forever changed. Some of you have already voted, by mail or in person. Some will brave long lines and potential viral attack to vote tomorrow, November 3. Regardless, it's going to be a long, trying day. It will be a day that tests us as human beings, as Americans. And that is why it's my belief that we all need a unifying cry, a nonpartisan mantra to comfort us, align us, and keep us strong. Humbly, I suggest Baby Shark . You're welcome. If you're a parent of children younger than 25 the mere appearance of the words "Baby Shark" has activated a nuclear ear worm in your brain so that you are now singing "doo doo doo doo doo," involuntarily. This will go on for a minimum of 10 min